Energizing Self-Trust

7 Steps for Reclaiming Your Power

A Book Review by S. Tariq Masood

On 12th May 1990, Star Trek: The Next Generation, in its third season released the 23rd episode “SAREK”.

Spock's father Sarek, a legendary 200 year old Vulcan ambassador, boards the Enterprise to finalize negotiations with a race of beings that only trusts him. His two personal aids who accompany him on the Enterprise continually monitor, stabilize his mental state and advise Sarek maximum rest in view of his debilitating health. Only Sarek insists to remain active to oversee the details of these sensitive negotiations.

Vulcans are known to exhibit no emotions. According to them … “We dispose emotional states. They are illogical. When there is no emotion, there is no motive for violence.”

Actually, Vulcans are not devoid of emotions; they've simply learned to suppress them from the early childhood. This behavior becomes a part of their physiology which gives them (arguably) greater problem-solving abilities, less confusion about personal issues and no conflicts over irrational concepts that cannot be proven.

The very next day, for reasons unknown, crew members of the ship exhibited unprovoked aggression, even towards personal friends and colleagues. After numerous such incidents, the Enterprise crew got concerned, investigated and finally concluded that ambassador Sarek is inflicted with the rare 'bendai syndrome', which causes old Vulcans to lose their most-prized emotional self-control. In such a state, they telepathically “spill” the intense emotions everywhere they go. These strong emotions then get absorbed by humans affecting their behavioral response and needless fights and arguments ensue.

As a temporary solution, Captain volunteers himself to mind-meld with him. This way Sarek would have Picard's emotional control for the duration of negotiations. Sarek is reluctant at first warning Picard that this would cause him to be overwhelmed by extremely powerful Vulcan emotions. Knowing the risks, Picard remains adamant and Sarek grudgingly agrees.

After the mind-exchange is performed by Sarek, Captain Picard, who is a human, is indeed overpowered. Under the deluge of extreme emotions Captain exhibits a personality change and pours out the contents of Sarek's anguished soul; accumulation of his suppressed emotional experiences, his regrets of never showing Love to his son Spock or his late wife. Captain cries uncontrollably and remains in agonizing depression having received Sarek’s mind. In the meantime, a restored and rational Sarek, who has exchanged the emotional stability from the Captain, successfully concludes his negotiations.

Book Review & Personal Thoughts

The above example was necessary because that is exactly what happens in real life when profound emotions are deliberately suppressed or snubbed. In his fifth book, ENERGIZING SELF TRUST: 7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Power; author J. Lawrence Maerz has sacrificed all pretensions to literary style to secure felicity of diction. He has an important message to deliver and does it sagaciously without any nebulous writing. He conscientiously starts from the origin where the “bent” occurs in our emotions which changes our outlook on life. He presents his readers practical solutions which even a layman can comprehend.

We are all creatures of emotions, passions, circumstances and accident.  What the mind  will  be,  what  the  heart  will  be,  what  the  body  will  be;  are  problems  that  are shaped to the drift of life. Think about it for a while and you will be surprised to know how much of your life has been a mere drift; polluted with hive consciousness spewing out clichés with boring regularity.

The writer is a psychological counselor, professional speaker and has been an investigator of EMOTIONAL TROUBLESHOOTING subject for many years. His most recent 5th book is an attempt to give to his readers the principles; fundamental to advanced, derived from his own investigations, painstaking research work and experiential knowledge of adult and child psychology. He recognizes and advocates the need of personal accountability and coaches his clients on achieving “balanced emotional states.”

Excerpts from ENERGIZING SELF TRUST

7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Power

“We have spent many years building emotional inertia that has led to our arrival at the place where we find ourselves now. We all feel that there were pivotal points in our lives where, if we had gone another way, we might not be where we are now. We see those experiences as choices we had to make based on circumstances. But those choices had everything to do with how we felt about ourselves at the time. And how we felt at that time had everything to do with the way we were taught about how the world perceived us, our values and worth as an individual. The underlying point is that we have allowed our value and worth to be determined by people outside of ourselves, thus continuing the training we received in childhood.”

“We still see ourselves now much the same way we believed the world saw us then, except that, now it is a long history of reinforcement through repeating the same beliefs and patterns we were taught, over and over.”

“The way the world sees and responds to us is deeply rooted in our opinions of ourselves. This is our personal inertia. The way the world values us is well integrated in our psyches. It could be compared to a systemic infection permeating the body and the only way to eliminate it is to kill the host it survives on.”

Mr. J. Lawrence Maerz advocates the use of positive affirmations but with a serious warning. There is a thought, and a “sponsoring thought”, which runs parallel or directly behind the first thought. For instance, if I am using an affirmation to germinate a new belief inside my subconscious mind and saying… “I am a great communicator. My clients appreciate what I say, give me business and referrals.” The sponsoring thought could say...

a) Don't kid yourself
b) Your clients back out at the last minute
c) You will lose AGAIN
d) You are not good at closing deals
etc. etc.

The sponsoring thought then becomes an adversary. It incinerates the initial thought instantly along with any positivity. Why? Because it drags past emotional experiences into the present moment and how we identified ourselves with the judgments that were placed upon us when we were growing up. Since we never let go of those outdated beliefs, the emotional navigation brings us vis-à-vis with a darker side of ourselves. It is when we choose to cloak our shining self in the present moment covered in the rags of FEAR of the past. The bottom line is that our thoughts and the sponsoring thoughts must not collide with one another. Once both stand in congruence, new beliefs are formed and life begins to change.

Conclusion:

Humanity is hemmed in by so many influences that, from time immemorial, no real effort has been made to gain control of the emotions and impulses that run loose in the world within. It has been, and still is, easier to let things go rather than exert a degree of personal will to direct them. The dividing line between success and failure is found at that stage where aimless drifting ceases.

With so many simultaneous realities and parallel possibilities than our minds could conceive or the pen could write in figures; we choose to keep ourselves locked in a status-quo. ENERGIZING SELF TRUST: 7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Power releases readers from the dogmatic labels and bondage of the past. Through practical exercises, the book helps readers usher into a new mindset where you start to understand the bludgeoning of “shadows” and finally eliminate the victim-based mentality which infests the soul.

Depression, isolation, loneliness, anxiety, irritability, helplessness, impoverishment and failures which frequently repeat themselves - all represent mental inertia. They are not diseases but only states of mind. They have an origin; symptoms to a much deeper cause. Eliminate the cause and the whole picture changes. Whenever we “spill” fear based emotions in key moments or areas of our lives; disappointments follow. The only way out is to accept the responsibility of correcting the misconceptions and commit to doing something different to get a different result.

ENERGIZING SELF TRUST: 7 Steps to Reclaiming Your Power provides a working model of belief management by virtue of which things can change for the better. It is not an overnight transformation; rather a gradual process which hammers your mind to courageously cross the line and experience what lies on the other side of the fence.

Please visit author's websites:

http://johnmaerz.com/

http://awakeandthinking.com/

J. Lawrence Maerz fourth book: A MILE IN YOUR SHOES: The Road To Actualization Through Compassion is about child rearing practices which stigmatize and leave behind a mark of shame. It is also a must read work.

ISBN 978-0986436451

Self Trust Intro Video 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm993r77GPM

Self Trust Video 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeIq70AYSGc

Good Reads Book Club: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5190893.John_Maerz

Contact the Author

3542 Green View Court

Sarasota, Florida 34231

(941) 286 – 1562

jm@johnmaerz.com

Conformity

An Experiment in Behavior Predictability

Conformity is akin to a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It is a gash in the cerebral output from which intelligence leaks out. A simple search on the internet will provide definitions; from simple to complex, but I have one of my own.

General (Moderate) Definition: Conformity is a type of social influence involving a change in belief or behavior in order to fit in with a group, culture or society. The essence of conformity is yielding to outside pressures of known or unknown origins.

My Definition: Conformity is characterized by an absence of critical thinking, suspension of commonsense and judgment. It is an induced state of mind in which self-reliance is arrested along with the loss of personal responsibility.

Conformity is a tangible behavioral change which can actually be measured in a clinical setting. Its main objective is “control” and “obedience” to authority - whether imaginary or real. Conformity uses ambiguity as its main tool in a way that people start to “use” each other as a source of information and reference.

Real Experiment:

A man appeared in front of a crowd (75 people) to deliver a small speech on the benefits of a having a nutritious diet plan. He started talking and made complete sense for only about two minutes.

Then, as he continued, he intertwined multiple topics and added incoherent phrases which, not only didn’t make any sense, but were irrelevant to the original topic. His speech covered hurricanes, fancy restaurants, earthquakes, Bengal Tigers, rainforests, volcanoes, world cup, computer viruses - areas which had absolutely no connection with one another or the benefits of a nutritious diet plan.

Everyone in the audience exhibited a strange look and started looking at each other. Nobody had a clue as to what he was talking about or the purpose behind his gibberish. (The ambiguity)

After he was done, he smiled and said thank you to the confused crowd. There was a deafening silence for about two seconds. Then immediately, two people started clapping from the front row. Then gradually more clapping was seen and heard. Then the same two people in the front row stood up and continued showering their accolades. Eventually, the entire crowd stood up and gave that man a standing ovation.

The speaker said thank you to all – smiled and asked: “Why are you all clapping to the nonsense I just spoke? Did it make sense to you?”

Synopsis: The speaker had planted the two people in the crowd that would “start” the accolades process. They were part of the experiment. As more and more joined in, the experiment was immediately moved into stage two. In the next stage, the same planted people “stood up” and demonstrated their support by more active cheering. The entire crowd stood up next and applauded the nonsensical speaker.

When asked:

1. A whopping 85% “blamed themselves” for not understanding the speech properly. They thought it made complete sense – just not to them. That was the reason they started clapping. They questioned their own understanding.

2. 15% of the people were 50/50 on the speech content. They showed their support just to fit in. The fear of looking like fools without a sense of respect for the majority kept them at bay. They felt a great deal of pressure but chose to be a part of the happy audience.

What a dangerous way to live life – blaming oneself and uneducated decision making!

Conformity is a robotic behavior. It snatches away our sense of self and replaces our originality with a character shade of grey. Conformity controls our thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and, ultimately, our actions. The tools of conformity are:

1. Modern-day religious affiliations, adherence to dogmas, sectarian mindsets and the power struggles of holier-than-thou. Here, matters are taken to their furthest extremes to control minds. Fear is the ideal weapon of choice; punishment, hell, purgatory and the everlasting damnation.

2. The vicious political parties belching their useless slogans - regurgitating promises of a better tomorrow and devising methods of entrapping affiliates only to be utilized as front line foot soldiers who do all the dirty work.

3. The media spewing the negativity 24/7 shaping the views of a society, about a society and branding it as they best see fit. A perfect way to shape behavior.

4. Nationalism and the superiority complex which says: “We are the chosen ones!”

5. Idealism and Ego! The need to be right all the time and the need of self-aggrandizement. No self-assessment required here.

6. The passing down of secondhand information, beliefs, fables and ideologies generation after generation without questioning the validity of the source.

7. The main goal is to fool humanity and allow it to get labeled and distributed under manifold banners and belief systems further dividing itself up again and again and again.

Conformity is intellectual dishonesty. It challenges the value of people by denying them the opportunity to make their own choices - by denying them the chance to grow strong in learning and understanding.

Truth is always simple. All people recognize truth because people are intelligent beings. It is the nature of conformity to create artificially complex ideas. It does this to hide or obfuscate the freedom it destroys. If you remove the complexities and fears from your life, you will reach a plain and beautiful truth.

While conformity seeks to hide a person's worth, freedom shows humans their full potential and their full value. With freedom, people have loved, cured disease, removed hunger, eased labor and lived in harmony.

One centuries old Chinese proverb says: Believe only half of what you see – and none of what you hear!

Here’s a list of more frightening experiments which reveal the afflictions of conformity: https://explorable.com/social-psychology-experiments

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47 - Day Road Trip

Dear Readers:

I have been on a 47-day road-trip for a major multinational brand that has 77 locations throughout Pakistan. I was issued a daunting challenge which I accepted. I started from their Karachi head office and covered all of the retail stores with an effort to upgrade their visual merchandizing walls and front displays and provided much needed training and development for all sales staff region by region.

I observed the following:

1) Not taking into account large cities like Karachi, Lahore or Islamabad - consumers are becoming very brand savvy even in small towns like Jehlem, Khaarian, Chakwal, Mirpur, Sahiwal, Gujranwala, Sargodha, Rawalpindi, Faisalabad and many such locations that I visited.

2) The local sales staff hired by the company severely lacked the retail intelligence, selling skills and how to promote a brand with a customer-centric attitude. Incidentally, the same applied to other brands sitting in the market which we visited to get a feel of the local shopping atmosphere. We video documented and took pictures along the way.

3) The sales staff faced numerous issues in QC and supply-chain which de-motivated them even more. The response-time took much longer due to improper communication channels and uneven work distribution. Consequently, the blame game routines were taking place at every region outlets - with RSMs (Regional Sales Managers) blaming the head office staff for all troubles and ASMs (Area Sales Managers) blaming the RSMs.

4) Teamwork and the spirit required in branded sales were nowhere to be found. Undue politics and judgmental arguments happened; even during times when customers were present inside the store. (A deadly mistake)

5) Nobody wanted to accept the individual responsibility. The sales staff was aggravated by the store manager’s undue favoritism and a handful were disturbed by not making enough commissions on the merchandize sold.

6) Company’s resources and an inordinate amount of time were being wasted.

7) Unsold seasonal merchandize returns (GR) back to the head office represented outrageous figures.

I am proud to announce that we have successfully fixed all the dysfunctions; especially with sales figures, united the staff in performance driven teams and accomplished the VM upgrades. The rest of the QC & supply-chain issues are being worked on as we speak. Solutions were simple and based on psychological and bioethics principles. Now, there is even a new employee-incentive program underway which will allow fashion-consultants to be recognized for individual efforts. After considerable changes and rising sales figures, extreme confidence levels and positive attitudes are being reported across the board in every region.

We have switched their outlook from being problem-focused to solution-driven

There are numerous business solutions. The question is: “where lies the focus in present moment”? Once we took care of the self-imposed limitations, even the out-of-season merchandize started selling.

There are many domestic and foreign business opportunities on the horizon which demand contemplation for those who wish to expand beyond borders.

Warm Regards